Busy busy busy... - Random babblings of a fiber-obsessed nutcase

How old are they? Are they the right age to be a flower girl and ring bearer?

She's 9, he's 6....but, I'm thinking less formal than that. Just not sure *what*. *sigh*

That's what I get for doing the first one the way I wanted (Scottish/Tudor, most of the guests in garb, with a piper and a ball afterwards. All for right at $2,000.) - anything else is going to be either a let down, or too expensive. *sigh*

If the first wedding was ‘perfect’ I would suggest trying for this one to be as different as possible so as not to invite comparison. If the time of year/location works, an outdoor afternoon wedding in not too formal clothes might be a good contrast. (I’m visualizing sundresses in a garden, or barefoot on the beach type, but that might be too hippy of me :p) Maybe just have them escort you up the aisle (but skip that ‘who gives her away’ bit) and sit in the first pew? (On the thought that they will get tired and fidgety if standing through the ceremony). The older could perhaps do a reading if you’re having full blown ceremony. And if you’re doing dancing after, have a dance where you dance with your son and your new husband dances with your daughter as one of the first dances…..

simple (think, cheap!) is what I'm looking for here.

I don't have any suggestions about how to include kids, but my first and only wedding was simple and cheap. I think we spent $2,250 for everything and that included me sewing my own silk wedding dress. We had 50 guests, and I thought that was a great price per head.

- We held the wedding in a large, stately house on the grounds of the local University. Very inexpensive, and just beautiful. One large parlor was where the ceremony took place, the other large parlor was where we had dinner. Photos happened in the backyard which was landscaped with hedges and other nice plantings.
- We played CDs on a borrowed sound system, and one of our guests volunteered to keep an eye on the stack of CDs in the CD-carousel. Free music and it worked great. We rehearsed the music set-up a week before.
- My mom and I sewed all the dresses, the tablecloths, napkins, linens. But renting the table linens would have been cheap too.
- I persuaded a caterer who I happened to have gone to high school with to do the catering. All the foods were cold served, buffet style. Very elegant menu, and a minimum of service was needed.
- My mom made the wedding and groom's cakes. She does this professionally. I only had to pay for materials and we used fresh, non-toxic flowers on the cake instead of frosting flowers. Ice cream was also served, made up fresh by a local creamery.
- The table centerpieces were potted mums. It was an autumn wedding, so mums were perfect. And cheap.
- Table favors were little gold tulle bags of wrapped truffles I made up the week before. I bought the truffles in bulk from a candy wholesaler up in Hartford, and cut out the gold tulle circles from yardage I bought at JoAnn Fabrics.
- We were very conservative with liquor. A couple of cases of champagne, a couple cases of white wine and that was it. Bought them from a wholesaler. My mom and I made two big fruit punches (non-spiked) for the crystal punch bowls. There were crystal ice water pitchers at every table that the caterer kept full. My family and John's family are not big alcohol consumers.
- I persuaded the press photographer from the theatre where I worked at the time to do the wedding photos. He did a GREAT job, and he sold me the negatives for the very reasonable price he charged.
- The wedding and party ran from noon to 6 p.m. We did not go into the evening hours, and at 6 p.m. when the guests headed out, the close family members and ourselves changed out of our fancy clothes and cleaned up the place ourselves, lickety split. After that was done (took about 45 minutes), John and I headed out in our pre-packed car for a hiking/camping honeymoon in the Adirondack mountains. My mom returned the rental stuff (tables, dishes, silverware, glassware) the next day.

Folks who attended our wedding still, to this very day, occasionally contact us and tell us that ours was the simplest, most elegant and memorable wedding they've ever been to. It's very gratifying to hear that, believe me!

My first wedding came in at $2000, and that included the 8 yards for his Great Kilt.

I'm thinking I need to go even less for this one, since I have 2 kids, and neither J. nor I are exactly rolling in the dough. I mean - JP at the courthouse cheap, except the courthouse will be closed Jan. 1.

Great ideas, though - thanks!

All you need is a marriage license and two witnesses. Do you have a church you attend regularly? You could easily have a tiny wedding at a good friend's home with your priest officiating, two friends as witnesses, and your children standing up with you, followed by a nice brunch out.

Schlep you, the kids, and J to a really nice bed & breakfast or inn with a large living room and get the local JP to swing by to perform the ceremony. We've done fast, small, lovely intimate weddings for folks at my mom's b&b, particularly for couples most recently when the fellow is shipping out to Afghanistan or Iraq on short notice. She's got a big L-shaped formal parlor that works beautifully.

I'll make sure Jenny contributes to this thread-- she's a great planner and could probably even make a career of thinking up stuff like this!

My first impression would be to *really* involve the kids. I like the idea above about having Cait read something, but I would go a step further and have them up there at the rail with you. J's not just marrying you; he's marrying your family.

Also, it's not like you have a shortage of pastors available! You can even write your own meaningful ceremony, invite family and your closest friends, church members, etc., and keep it pretty but simple. Let the words and the invitees make it special-- no bagpipes necessary!

You have a photographer in the family, so that's an expense you don't have to worry about. If you have the ceremony at your church, you can probably use the church's organist/pianist for not a lot of $$... or you can go the prerecorded music route and just have someone press play. For the reception, have it at the church's fellowship hall, or outside if the weather is nice. Or have it at the house. For music, find someone who has a laptop with iTunes (*ahem*), have that person assemble a mix of music that's to your liking, hook it up to some speakers and let it play.

And since it's on New Year's Day, everyone can then watch their favorite bowl game on the big-screen TV you bought your brother for his birthday.

A friend of mine was married for the second time a couple of years ago. They had about 30-40 guests. Since it was a second marriage and they did not need all the traditional wedding gifts, they asked people to bring a pot luck dish instead of a wedding gift. It made for a really nice reception afterward with great food, at little or no cost to them.