March 17th, 2005

me: portrait

Round and round....

the great wheel goes; fields of flowers fields of snow; spinning, turning, to and fro; we dance the dance eternal. by Brian Leo, of Molly and the Tinker

I wanted to do a light-hearted post about the lucious shetland roving Susanne from Fireant Ranch sent me...but I can't.

See, my co-workers husband is in severe kidney failure. She's with him now getting the "mapping" done (I think that's where they track your veins so that they know where they can put the dialysis hook-up)...the doc says dialysis within 3 months; by the end of the year for sure. He had told them in January that it looked like 3 the 3 months came as a big shock.

The problem? D. probably won't do it. He has a very low pain threshold, and he told C. yesterday that he refuses to leave her in a pile of debt. I looked it up for them; Medicare will pay for all of it, but he doesn't want to hear it right now.

This is not fun. I mean, she had just wrapped her brain around the fact that she had 3 more years (the doc had said he probably wouldn't make it to dialysis)...and now? Now she can see the end. And she has to live with the thought that every time she sees him/talks to him, it may be the last. (He also has a bad heart, among other medical conditions. To put it bluntly, D. is a mess.)

I had told her a few months ago that I envied her, because she at least had time to adjust to the idea and could make sure she said everything that needed to be said. Now? I don't. My dance with Death was quick - I didn't even know he'd dropped by for 8 hours - and it seems that that is easier to deal with.

I brought my Ashford Joy to work today - spinning helps me think things thru. It's not like I can get anything on the taxes done by myself. *g* I managed to get the rest of the mohair/lambswool spun, all the while praying and thinking. I started on the Shetland, needs to be full of happy thoughts for the friend it's intended for. The mohair blend? Demo yarn - it already has a bunch of happy/sad/drunk/curious thoughts spun in, so meditation and prayers and tears added in won't hurt. I have a feeling the wheel will be installed up here pretty soon - C will have to be taking a lot of time off for seminars and doc. appointments and the like.

Watching the wheel spin puts me into a meditative trance, which is good. It also has that affect on bystanders, which can also be good. A friend of mine wrote a prayer on his wheel in clear nail polish, so that everytime the wheel spins, the prayer goes with it. It's something I need to think about...
me: portrait

'nother meme...

The Lady
You scored 28% Cardinal, 33% Monk, 70% Lady, and 48% Knight!
Chaste and pure, you are a good person. You try to help others and do your duty to your family. However, this duty involves you being sold off to a local noble house in order to cement relations between your families. But you know it's for a greater good, and besides you will retain all the comforts and glamour of your position regardless of if you're your father's or you husband's property.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 27% on Cardinal

You scored higher than 9% on Monk

You scored higher than 81% on Lady

You scored higher than 90% on Knight
Link: The Who Would You Be in 1400 AD Test written by KnightlyKnave on Ok Cupid

I swear I'm not cheating! The dancer was funny, this is.....the questions were strange. *shrug*
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