October 9th, 2005

me: portrait

Highland Games, Part 1

Ooooh, yesterday was slow. SO slow. I don't think the coordinators did enough publicity...but it was nice.

Not enough eye-candy, unfortunately. I only saw 3 kilts worth complimenting...very sad.

BUT. Remember Irish Fest? When Clan Keith told me I couldn't embarass him??

He lied. I so won that round. *g*

I brought the package, just in case they were there. Right after the gates opened, I saw their tent, so I meandered over there, bag in hand. I smiled. Said "Didn't you order a kilt from me at Irish Fest?" He looked slightly puzzled "No, I said I wanted a kilt, but I didn't..." "Well, here it is! You know where I'll be - gotta run!" And I took off.

I got maybe 4 tents down, when he lost it :"I'll get you! This-this!" and he started laughing. I shot back - "I'll be here!" and sat down.

You could see his face glowing from across the field. He managed to get himself over to our tent and he was laughing so hard....it was SO worth it.

He offered to model it....ummm, no. I did ask about the tam - he hadn't gone that far into the bag, he stopped at the willie-warmer. *eg*

He displayed it to the boy scout parents, who also lost it. I think my rep is shot....*vbeg*

The tam did fit, and he seems happy. All is well.

I attracted a small crowd with the wheel - mostly little kids. 1 boy scout wants to learn, so I have packed a spindle and roving today to teach him. Very laid back day.

There was yarn, too - the divine Lady S. had picked me up some Lorna's Laces Shepard Socks, so now I have bright happy yarn for me. I got her started knitting...now I gotta find her a table loom or small floor loom. *eg*

Parade sucked - 2.5 hours late, no pipe band (oh, wait - we had *2* pipers, who don't follow directions well; they were told to pipe us in, stop, play *2* songs, then pipe us off. They played.....1 song. Over and over. Not very well. No stop. Idiots.)

Dinner with clan cousins at a nice little Italian place. Then home.

Today will be similar, minus the glow-in-the-dark Clan Keith. *eg*
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    hummm of the dryer getting wrinkles out of today's skirts
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me: portrait

Ummm, I think I started a war....

with Clan Keith. Remember, HE started it. I just finished it...or at least the first round. *g*

Today, the festival was D-E-A-D. Dead. Deader than dead - there were NO nice kilts around (except the one assosiated with our clan - but he doesn't count.) Bored isn't the word for it. S. and I managed to get 1 lady hooked on knitting - Go S.!

So, anyway, back to the war zone. Early in the day, we had a guest who had heard "something" about me and Clan Keith. I told him it wasn't my place to tell, but hey - go ask HIM. Tell him *I* sent you. :smile: So, he wandered over to the Keith's...I watched, smirking. A few minutes later, a red glow appeared over the tent, and I smiled broadly and waved jauntily. (From this point, I'm just gonna call him Keith. I don't remember his first name - I'm blonde, it was hot, and I'm tired - and that's just easier on me, OK?) Oh, and I should, at this point, mention that Keith is....about 70-ish. Or so he claimed at Irish Fest. (Yes, this makes it all the funnier.)

Keith came over, and said "You sent him over?" I smiled and said "Hey, YOU started it. You should do the explaining, yes?" He got down on his knees (Damn, wish someone had caught a picture of THAT!) and begged me to not do that again.

What's a girl to do? I smiled and said ok...then he hopped up and said "You know - I have 5 months to plot my revenge." I blinked, then smiled and said "Hey - I still have a lot of that yarn left, y'know. *smirk*"

He then started complaining that it was too small. S. popped back with something like "Well, when you have small specs to start out with..." which shut him up...and I said "You know, you just get it wet and it stretches." He blinked at me....and I smiled and said "Knitting WILL stretch, y'know." *snerk*

He slunk back to his tent - and every time he glanced my way I would smile and wave. He came back later in the afternoon....with his nephew. His Young, scrawny, easily-breakable nephew. I'm afraid we scared him off.....*eg*

So, what do I need to do to retaliate against his retaliation? How does one top a willie-warmer? *eg* (Do I really want to know?)
me: portrait

I can't believe I forgot *this* one...

OK, I was tired last night. I was concerned about the pending war...but *this* story needs to be told. (Sorry, S., but it *is* funny!)

Call it What Not To Wear when you are Over 20 and (massively) overweight. :shudder:

So, we're sitting in the tent, keeping our eyes on Keith, when we see this......woman.......heading down Clan Alley. She is 40-ish, maybe older, and was quite hard to miss: she was wearing Neon Pink and Bright Purple tunic-ish thing and split pants. (I *think* the tunic was pink and the pants (what there was of them) were purple. I have tried *really*really* hard to block it out of my mind...)

blink. She was *really* bright. She got closer....and we noticed that the tunic was split from the knee-length hem to the waistband. O...K. Then we noticed that the pants were split from the top of her knee-high boots to.....the waistband. And she wasn't wearing any noticable thing Under Them.

At all.


She went through the breezeway next to the scout tent and disappeared, and I tried to force the vision from my head. Cellulite should not be displayed that blatently.

Wait - it gets worse! About an hour or so later, she walks past the side of our tent...about 8 feet from me, right as I am looking that way. :shudder: It was MUCH worse close up.

I immediately made our token kilt wearer stand up and swagger for me to wash my eyes out...it Did help. *g*

It is said that the expression on my face was priceless......