Ya'll remember Zoey, right? The honkin' big, overgrown Irish Wolfhound puppy that has adopted me? And hasn't had her visit by the brain-fairy yet? Yeah, that Zoey.
Well, see, yesterday I got my boss's Christmas present - every year he sends out grapefruit. My partner and I decided a few years ago (since we do the actual ordering and setting up shipments) that we would get something else for us, as long as the price was comparable. Works out much better - just how much grapefruit can a small family eat, anyway?
*ahem*, I digress. Anyway. This year I got a really nice wooden bowl (it'll be used to hold my shuttles, I think) full of oranges and tangerines. About, oh, 2 dozen in all. Nice. The fruit looks pretty good, the bowl is gorgeous, I sat it on the bar and everyone was happy. The kids and I watched 101 Dalmations, then went on off to bed.
Zoey has discovered the joys of futons. It is *just* the right height for a wolfie to lounge on, it's almost wide enough for her to sprawl on, and you can hide things under the quilt. And use the arms as a head rest. Also for sharpening your teeth, but not when the silly humans are around. It's way cool, and must have been made with her in mind. (You Do See what's coming, yes?)
She likes to jump up on the futon and chew on her bones/scavenged items fromm the trash can/exotic wood left lying around; you know, the usual stuff a dog chews on. That way, she can "hide" the evidence when someone walks in - you shove your whole head under the quilt, see, and then you're invisible. Amazing how that doesn't seem to work for us 2-legs, but there ya go.
This morning, as Himself is getting his jacket, he notices something......different....about the futon. "Mama!" he said "Dere's an Orange in here! Zoey stoled it!" Hmmmmmmmmm. There still appears to be 12 oranges in the bowl. Zoey, meanwhile, is practising her innocent look. I go in to find........a tangerine. In the middle of the futon. No sign of damage, no juice spills/stains; the tangerine looks intact.
I go to pick it up........ugh. It's squishy.
Upon closer examination, I discover 2 small punctures in the skin. I also discover that the tangerine is dessicated. She had managed to suck all the tangerine's lifeblood out of it, while it (I'm sure) lay there whimpering in abject pain. She then tired of it's lifeless husk and left it there to be discovered by a poor, innocent bystander, who will be haunted by the memory of it's drained husk for, oh, maybe 5 seconds.
I hesitate to think of the carnage I will find facing me tonight when I get home.........there were 11 oranges and 11 tangerines left in the bowl (on the bar, remember) when we left.