Sister Sword of Desirable Mindfulness (fiberaddict) wrote,
Sister Sword of Desirable Mindfulness
fiberaddict

A post I don't really want to write....

Zoey isn't doing too well. She's 7, almost 8, which for a Wolfhound is getting ancient. She's been slowing down over the past few months - shuffling instead of strolling, preferring to lounge around in 1 spot instead of moving to maximize the potential of humans stepping on her, watching the goats from the porch instead of by the fence. We've made allowances - not forcing her off the couch, leaving pillows down, learning to nudge her over with the side of my foot instead of making her get up and move......but time marches on.

For the past couple of weeks, she's had a problem getting up and down. Her back legs couldn't seem to get a grip on the laminate floors....so, we started putting down towels for her. We even discussed putting in carpet, just to make it easier for her (what? She's a family member in good standing, just like my children!)......but now, I don't think that'll be necessary.

Monday evening, I heard her fall. I got out of bed and checked her - she seemed a little doozy, but OK. She shambled into my bedroom, and crashed on the rug. Yesterday morning, she had moved to the kitchen.......only she was still there when I got home. I was a little concerned - she *always* meets me at the door, to frisk me and make sure no evil left-overs were trying to infiltrate. Last night? She didn't budge.

We tempted her with all her favorite foods - peanut butter, scrambled eggs, Fruit Loops (again, what? She's been our vaccuum-cleaner/disposal forever.).....she refused them all. I wasn't worried until we tried the peanut butter - this is a dog that would take the can off of the counter, unscrew the lid, and proceed to neatly clean out the jar - a couple of times she even put the empty jar BACK on the counter, I guess to "hide" the evidence. (This is the same dog that ATE an entire jar of WoodBeams - she wasn't able to unscrew the lid, so she very neatly split the bottom and licked it all out. WoodBeams - while fantastic on wood - turns into a very slick, very hard concrete-like substance when mixed with Wolfhound drool and pancake mix.)

This morning, she had drug herself to the family room. I got her to take some water, but....things don't look good. SG has class tonight.....I can't get her into the car to take her to a vet. She's big.....and still too heavy for me to lift. Is it horrible of me to hope she passes at home, without medical help? Or is it cowardice?

I don't know what I'll do with a huge Wolfhound-sized hole in our house. I don't even want to think about it....but it's inevitable. (I'm sitting here crying now, and - as far as I know - she's still *here*.) I know I don't want to live without one, but replacing her will be impossible - there's only 1 Zoey-monster. (I have already applied to get on the waiting list of the IW Rescue group, but they don't get that many in. I'd prefer a rescue to a breeder.....)

I just....this is gonna be very hard.
Tags: pets
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