Here, for the first time ever, are the blurbs for the blockbuster movies series I am planning:
The Perendale Menace: Wherein our intrepid hero, Qui-Baan Jinn and his plucky young padawan, Obaaa-Wan Kenobaa, discover the chosen one (he will bring balance to the fleece), and evade the evil Shearer Lords. Much excitment and hilarity abound.
Attack of the Clippers: Watch Obaaa-Wan as he trains the young Anakid, the chosen one. The dark side of the fleece falls upon the capital city, and the Goati try to discover who the Master Shearer is. Anakid falls in love with Padmewe, the charming representative of Nabaa. Will they be shorn?
Revenge of the Sheep: The Shearer turns Anakid to the dark side of the Fleece, and colored wool is born. The Great Goati Purge begins, and all are shorn. Chaos rules the barnyard....but a small rebellion is started, when the Senator from Baaaalderan secretly adopts Anakid's infant daughter.
A New Rope: Lamb (Anakid's son) is nearing adulthood. Obaa-Wan begins his training on the Light side of the Fleece. Leeeeeea manages to steal the blueprints for the clippers. Lamb strikes a major blow against the Shearers (the extension cord is cut!), and the Rebellion rejoices.
The Shearers Strike Back: A mortal blow is struck when the Leader of the Rebel forces is shorn. The big question: Sweater or Cardigan? (A smaller question: Handknit or Machine?)
Return of the Goati: Lamb reaches his full powers, takes command of the Clippers, and restores peace to the barnyard. No more will the citizens live in fear of the Shearers! A decree is passed - no more natural fibers! Long live Acrylic!
No, I should not be allowed out in public.......especially not after spending the weekend in a massive Star Wars marathon.
May the Fleece be with you!