So. I am a realist. I KNOW my dad is 84. He smoked for years - but quit 30+ years ago. His kidneys haven't been doing too well - he's been seeing a nephrologist for 4 or so years. He's had 1 heart attack and at least 2 strokes, plus he had bypass surgery 19 or 20 years ago. So...yeah, I KNOW his warranty is about to run out.
The nurse yesterday? Was blunt, but kind. "IF you do this, then he'll be able to rest comfortably, and might get better. If you DON'T, then (bad thing), (other bad thing) and death. I am NOT telling you what to do, but you need to know the options. IF you decide no, then we'll make him comfortable, but death. IF you decide yes, then he'll be uncomfortable, we'll have to keep him sedated, but he might get better. Might not."
Today's nurse? Is Jamaican, with a *very* heavy accent, but he's so darn excited about his job, and he LOVES the Science! behind everything, that even bad news comes across as not-so-bad. "See, I show you the labs. This number, it's high, but don' worry - we give drugs for that. It's like...the bacteria, now, they are bad! So the body puts out white blood cells. They're good! But.. they not enough, so we give antibiotics, which kill the bacteria. Only, this bacteria, it's strong, so we have to give THIS drug, which is...it cuts off the head *chop!* of the bacteria...." :lol: It's comforting, actually, because he's trying to explain the why of what he is doing. (Both nurses have been honest - things aren't great, and yeah, death. But...it's the delivery.)
Dr. GloomandDoom? (The attending physician).....I don't like him. He's blunt...but almost Aspie about it. He ordered us out of the room today to tell us that hey, Dad's got a lot of miles on him, and everything is old, and worn out, and sorry - but that's how it is.
:sigh: I mean, I *know* Death is near. I *get* it. But.....please be a little kinder about it, y'know? His bedside manner is very lacking.
So. I spent the morning in vigil, basically. Dad is sedated - he was awake enough to know I came in, and he acknowledged his pastor, but....he spent most of the morning asleep. Which he needs. Me? I knit some very unfortunate yarn. It's......ugly doesn't quite convey how.....bad the color choices are. It's a commercial yarn that unfortunately got separated from it's ball band...I'd like to know who the color-blind company was that dyed it up. It's got orange, olive green, blue, pink....it's like something the cat barfed up. :shudder: The nicest thing I can do to it is knit it up into a pair of socks to be worn around the barn......because the colors? Are.....well, they shouldn't have been put in the same skein.
I need to do some sewing...maybe later. I need to decompress a bit first...and dig up some food.
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