This is not aimed at any of you, dear readers - but I HAVE to vent or I will explode. If you prefer to not get involved in family-type drama, feel free to skip.
So. Last week you, via your spouse, told us (the family) that you simply didn't have the funds available to come up and visit MIL. OK, I get that. It's a bogus excuse - all you had to do was ask, and I'd have gladly filled up your gas tank when you got here, and filled it up again when you had to go back home. *I* know that wasn't really a valid excuse - how? Because of your AND your spouse's behavior at the funeral.
But first....grow up! You are married and have a child. It is YOUR job, and your spouse's, to, you know, CONTROL said child. No, it is NOT cute to have a sticky-fingered brat digging thru someone else's belongings. Herself was trying to cope by working on a beaded project; it was totally NOT APPROPRIATE (and is NEVER appropriate) for YOUR CHILD to start digging thru the beads. Beads that cost over $10/gram, I might add - and YOUR CHILD was happily flinging them all over the place, while YOUR SPOUSE, said child's other parent, giggled and kept cooing "How helpful! She's such a good help, isn't she?" NO. No, she wasn't, she isn't, and you, YOU, need to get a handle on her NOW, before she gets hurt.
Then.....your spouse gets all happy because "this'll be her first limo ride!". Really? REALLY? Happy that your child gets to "enjoy" a limo ride to *a family member's funeral*?????? I can't even.......:bangs head:
It was bad enough that the child ran around the chapel, dropping crumbs all over the place. I can actually forgive that....barely. I, personally, don't think a 4 year old needs to be at a funeral - my 2 were playing in the nursery at their own FATHER'S funeral, for pete's sake! - but hey, sometimes it's necessary. However, PARENT YOUR DAMN CHILD.
And then. THEN. You decide that, although you "couldn't afford" the gas to come up the last week of MIL's life, you certainly COULD afford to buy booze in the limo. Enough that you AND your spouse got drunk enough that other people noticed. SERIOUSLY??????????
And for you - YOU - to think it was cute that your spouse decided to drunkenly DEMAND one of MIL's quilts......really? Um......I've been part of the family for over 20 years, and I just got my FIRST - and ONLY - quilt from MIL *this year*. Oh, and one of the quilts your spouse demanded? Belongs to Herself - MIL made it quite plain that it was to STAY in the room it's in, on the bed it's on, until both she and FIL were gone. (Herself "owns" the bedroom set in there, and MIL wanted her to have a bespoke quilt to go with it.) I can understand wanting one of the quilts - they are works of art! - but...right after the funeral is neither the time NOR the place to go and try to acquire one. (That MIL didn't intend for you....but that's just snarky on my part. :sigh:) And all YOU did was giggle. WoW. (Oh, and it's never appropriate to ask for money from people, and then, the day after you get it, post photos of your child enjoying a Spa Day. That's just...tacky. And makes people less likely to offer help when you really, really need it.)
All this did was remind me why I cut off contact with you almost 14 years ago. You are NOT the type of person I want my children to look up to - in fact, you are NOT a good role model at all. I am extremely concerned about your child......if things don't change (and I'm pretty sure that they won't), I predict that she is going to end up spoiled (already there), promiscuous (because she is going to confuse sex with love and approval), and probably a rape statistic - after all, she sees you model drunken behavior, why should she think that's wrong? She already doesn't understand boundaries....and it's only going to get worse as she gets older - and that's all on YOU. YOU need to grow up, grow a pair, and get your spouse in hand. The work on getting your child in hand - you still have time, but it's running out rapidly. I know that I NEVER want either of my children known as Partiers...it's not safe in this day and age. Sexual assault is just one of the things that would be a concern....
But you won't. You suffer from Peter Pan syndrome.....and things will never change. And it's sad.....but not surprising. The simple fact that you can't fathom that you or your spouse did anything wrong is so telling.......
:sigh: (OH, and I'm trying really hard to ignore the fact that your spouse thinks they are a trained neurological specialist. Your spouse had the balls to tell ME that Herself was NOT Autistic. Um. Yeah. We've had *4* specialists - you know, people who actually went to school to learn about Autism Spectrum Disorder - confirm the diagnosis; 2 in the last year as a matter of fact.) When I calmly told your spouse that yes, she had Asperger's Sydrome, your spouse had the balls to tell me that "Oh. That's not really Autism." I.....I just......I.....Never Mind. I think I'll put my trust in the specialists, thank you very much.)
So. Other than *that*, the funeral was nice. The pastor freely admitted he didn't know MIL very well (she.....was totally against organized religion - she felt most of them were hypocrites. :giggle:), but he did a good job eulogizing her. We draped her silk crazy quilt over the coffin - it looked really nice. SG and Himself were pall bearers, which was hard for Himself, but I thought it was a nice honor. Herself had a very hard time, which is understandable. All the above drama aside, Granny was her best friend. :sad:
Both kids are going back to FIL's tomorrow; Himself will stay 1 week (then we have to start his 11th grade year); she'll stay as long as he needs her to. I might keep ferrying Himself back over there on the weekends for a bit....we'll see what FIL needs. They would have been married 59 years 9/1.....he's doing OK, but......that's a long time to be around someone. :sad:
Rant over...for now. :lol:
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